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When you don’t have the capacity for each other’s “too much”..
🕑 Added 2021-12-19 23:08:31 +0000 UTC When you don’t have the capacity for each other’s “too much”ness… Congratulations: you’re human! We all have our limits, and they’re different from day to day (hell, even moment to moment). Recognize them. Honor them. Don’t try to steamroll them. Allow them to expose the pain beneath the surface. Only when we address the root pain that’s wreaking havoc on the here & now can we make genuine, heartfelt requests and create healthy boundaries of our own…instead of resenting our partner for making requests, setting boundaries, and coming across as cold-hearted assholes. Of course, there’s a way to lovingly yet firmly communicate boundaries and needs, but sometimes, no matter how kindly we try to share them, they land…well, harshly. But the truth is, whenever Ryan’s boundaries and self-care feel like rejection or abandonment, it’s MY opportunity to examine my inner ch!ld’s unmet needs and attachment wounds. My triggers are never about anyone else but me. Ever. They’re my invitations to notice my neediness and sit with it, without rushing to the first place I can have those needs met. It’s fucking uncomfortable, I’ll tell you that. But in that space, I’ve discovered countless times…it’s BEYOND the acceptance, permission, and love I craved from my father as a ch!ld and I projected onto Ryan as an adult. What I’m really longing for is my own acceptance. My own permission to be too much. My own love…from adult “me” to the little ch!ld “me.” You see, our needs are not bad or wrong. They point us back to a remembrance of our wholeness. They remind us that YES, we get to take up space, use our voices, and share our hearts. And that is an indescribably beautiful thing. So despite how it may feel in the moment, your neediness is not the bad guy. It is your gift. Let it be heard, seen, and embraced…and in doing so, you make it possible to access the next powerful level of passion and aliveness. Within yourself AND with another.❤️🔥💥 Speaking of which, for this week’s spicy video, check your direct messages. If you’re new to our page and didn’t receive this morning’s DM, comment “spicy, please!” below.💋
