My back is shaped like an 'S' any way you look at it, and I'..
🕑 Added 2021-05-25 21:52:24 +0000 UTC
My back is shaped like an 'S' any way you look at it, and I've suffered severe pain for many years as a result. One reason for the pain is these tig ole bitties 😜, but the primary source of my spinal issues goes back to when I was y0ung.
Growing up, my mom was very concerned that my sisters and I would be passed up for opportunities if we could not present ourselves appropriately in primarily male-dominated situations. She was worried that we'd either be passed up for our male counterpart or that the men judging us would do so not by our intelligence or expertise but by our physical attributes. So for most of my elementary through high school years, she enrolled us in dance, pageants, etiquette school, or modeling classes to learn grace, and to know when and how to speak, dress, walk, stand, etc.
One of the primary things they taught me in modeling was that the only important posture was the one that looked best down a runway or in front of a camera. I would go to ballet class, and they'd say that my posture should be perfect. But both were adamant that beauty, BMI, and the ability to distort my body determined my value. Even when I cried as they twisted and contorted my pelvis, torso, upper back, and limbs beyond their limits to fit the specific trend, they told me to suck it up. They said beauty is painful, and I needed beauty to succeed in life.
While I understand that my mom had the best intentions, and I am grateful for the opportunities she worked so hard to provide, I can't help but wonder if I would have embraced my body sooner without them. Would the path to self-acceptance and self-love have been easier? Or just as problematic? One thing I know for sure is that I'll always live with the physical pain as a reminder of the societal pressures women face every day. It reminds me of a corset... It may look different today, but the physical and emotional toll that our bodies endure due to societal standards is exhausting.
**So listen to me when I say this:** ***you are beautiful, inside and out. Society does not determine your value; you do. What you do with your mind and spirit is far more important than the outfit you wear or the number on the scale. Know this, believe this, breathe this, and teach your daughters and your sons that how we treat ourselves is just as important as how we treat others. We determine our own beauty.***
