therustyranger
onlyfans
Hi my friends. I’m so sorry for my silence this week it’s be..
🕑 Added 2021-01-24 16:30:42 +0000 UTC Hi my friends. I’m so sorry for my silence this week it’s been a wild one. Have you guys seen that one TikTok where it’s like “take my hand, take my hand!!!” and you get whipped through this spiritual awakening that like blasts you into another orbit? Yeah. That keeps happening this year. So, my mother agency (modeling) dropped me, and this election stuff has me feeling all sorts of ways. My parents basement flooded this week, primarily in the area where all of my stuff is being stored. Packing up for the divorce was so painful, and boxes got moved around downstairs so frequently, that several boxes of...memories of my old life...were destroyed by salt water. And then, I had a friendship breakup. Someone I’ve known for more than 20 years. The relationship was unhealthy, often one sided, and toxic. I wasn’t the greatest friend all the time either, but recent months and certain conversations with this person affected me so badly that I found myself unable to even get out of bed, create content/work, eat properly, or sleep at night. My own traumas, which I am still working through, were constantly being triggered. We’ve had “friendship breakups” in the past, and I kept taking this person back. This time, I tried to draw boundaries from a place of love. Now this person is extremely angry at me. I finally spoke up, and all of the truth came spewing out from the other person. Everything they really think about me. It hurts. It hurts because I can understand their anger with me, their sadness. But I can’t do anything to fix or help this person anymore. It’s not my job or responsibility. I’m determined to continue to live my truth and stay strong to the commitment I made to myself in 2020. On loving myself and putting myself first. Learning that it’s okay to say no and to set boundaries when you feel uncomfortable. I’m sad that people make assumptions on you based only on the outer image you display on the internet (no matter how “real” and transparent you try to be). Especially if it’s your job. I know in time, or maybe not, things will make more sense. It’s alright. In other news, my gaming friends 🎮 I want to let you in on a little something I’ve been working on for you 🤫 getting ready to livestream while I gloriously bluster my way through various games on my Switch and now my new lil baby (swipe) this Oculus 2. This is my first time learning how to livestream gaming content so any tips on set ups and best gear (headphones, mic, webcam?) you can send me, the better. I honestly had so much fun live streaming last week with you that I want to do these things much, much more often! I am worried about the WiFi/internet connection out where I am but I’m hoping to get that figured out as well. Oof lots of research but it’s going to be amaaaazing when the setup is complete! And then eventually I can get on to building my own PC 🤩 but that won’t probably come until I move out of mom and dads house. Not gonna lie—it’s been feeling a little stifling here lately. I know a lot of you can relate. 🗣 PS: give me all your game recommendations. I already played Vader Immortal: Episode III back a few months ago so I will def be re-exploring that series. What else do you like to play? I appreciate you all so, so much. I hope you are well. Thank you for your patience as I nail down this new routine. And, get ready, 2021 is going to be beyond 💫 in the best of ways.
