Sorry for going a bit quiet, I had a small existential crisi..
🕑 Added 2021-07-29 19:50:51 +0000 UTC
Sorry for going a bit quiet, I had a small existential crisis earlier and I was in desperate need of self care so I ordered myself the trufflest (yes, we’ll pretend it’s a word) pizza on the menu and going to watch some cheesy soap 🥺
My thoughts start racing sometimes about the future and at times it can get daunting. The effects of global warming are becoming more prominent and it’s suddenly not so much a « tomorrow’s issue » anymore. And I suddenly find myself worrying about the future, and about wasting time.
Today I read a super dark article that was giving the world 20/30 years maybe to be able to still sustain civilisations till we’ll see it all collapse. And ok, maybe that’s blown out of proportions but what are the odds? I will be in my 50s at that time, which means I won’t even reach retirement age and who knows how the systems will work by then? So it begs the question, what is the point of working every day and wasting half of the little time already left…
My friend’s argument was that it enables us to have fun in our spare time and live life as full as we can, and I know he’s right and I know there are responsibilities (like I have to think about sustaining my parents in a few years) but once one such thought is settled another one pops up: like how are you going to be able to make sure you are able to be with your family in case of an emergency, if travel is stopped again?!
I’ve never been afraid of distance, I’ve never been afraid of death, but I find myself suddenly scared of losing people I love or not being able to be with them in times of most need.
The most annoying part is that even if I get tired of thinking, I can’t stop myself from the lingering feelings. So I think I need to just give myself some time. And if that means I won’t have time to wax for tomorrow, then fuck it, I’m done forcingg it and putting someone else’s needs (or perceived needs for that matter, as we don’t even know what he likes 🤷🏼♀️) over mine.
Ramble over 🎤
**P.S.** there is eating a pizza slice, and then there is making love to a pizza slice 🍕what would you say is going on here? 🙈
**P.P.S.** it’s truffle though, come on 🥵
