Hey fans! 😘
Welcome to my #FetishFriday segment!
Today’s ..
🕑 Added 2020-04-03 04:13:45 +0000 UTC
Hey fans! 😘
Welcome to my #FetishFriday segment!
Today’s kink I’m going to be talking about role playing, safe words, and BDSM... ✖️✖️✖️
Let me start out saying how much I love to role play! It’s my favorite thing to do in bed. My partner and I can get creative, and be totally new personas. It can be sexy teacher and student, or it can be a two random strangers meeting up at a bar. We can tie one of us up and do some rough play, or we can go slow and do things lightly. Point being: I like to role play...
❓WHAT IS ROLEPLAYING ❓
Role play broken down, is explained as two people consenting to what they are comfortable and not comfortable doing in a sexual manner with the other. The adults had a conversation and mutually decided they both think this sounds really hot, and figure through further discussion and teamwork how they can make this fantasy into a sexual reality.
⭐️ The ✅ Yes ✖️No ❓Maybe List ⭐️
You need to negotiate some terms with each other before you simply begin your scenarios. You can’t jump into it before discussing first. If you do, there might be concerns and consequences afterwards. To avoid such issue, people write out what is known as the ☑️ Yes, ✖️No, and❓Maybe list. When you negotiate, you talk openly about what you like, your no-go zones and you state what (in certain circumstances) you might be okay with. For instance, a ✖️No on my list is anal insertion. The ❓Maybe on my list is light butt stuff, like a finger with lubricant and some booty spanking. It’s just my personal preference. ( AND THATS OKAY 👌🏻 Because not everyone is comfortable with everything. ) If I’m uncomfortable or my partner is uncomfortable, we both agree on safe words to say.
⚠️THE SAFE WORD⚠️
We each have a safe word, which is VERY important to have. Safe words help keep the communication going between couples. First and foremost the important word is always a consensual and sober yes. I say ⚠️ SOBER ⚠️ because when you role play under any type of influence, your judgement is somewhat skewed. This can cause damage the trust and fun in the relationship of BDSM role play in particular. For example, a partner under any influence may slap too hard, causing damage to their partner’s hearing. That’s why, all play requires a set in stone, affirmative and consensual ✅ yes from BOTH partners to each and every sexual activity discussed prior to beginning the fantasy (referring to the yes, no, maybe list).
The definition of a safe word is it’s a fast and easy way to let someone know you need to stop what’s happening immediately, sexually or not. A lot of couple use the safe words to communicate. It’s very easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment. But having a safe word can make it easy to not get over the edge. When a safe word is agreed upon, you both know you can fall back on it yet still have fun with sex. Another benefit is you learn about your partner’s limits, and they learn about yours. Safe words can range anywhere between “Pineapple” to “Meatloaf” - it really doesn’t matter, as long as the people taking part are aware and agree upon the communication. It might sound silly to others, but the safe word is the second most important word in your sexual vocabulary. ( The first one being consent )
✖️WHAT IS BDSM ✖️
💀BDSM💀 initially stands for Bondage / Discipline / Dominance / Submission / Sadism / Masochism. It covers a very large range of sexual tastes and activities with endless variations to both. Most people have only experienced it from watching the movie Fifty Shades of Grey. & This film poorly portrayed the model of this kink. Not only does the couple not have the conversation of Yes No Maybe list, they also do not agree upon any safe words. It’s a very... Grey... area.
After agreeing on the ☑️ yes ✖️no ❓maybe list and a ⚠️safe word⚠️ Then the next step to BDSM is talking in more detail about triggers. This is the point at which you check in about what triggers you or your partner might have. Limiting the acts you’re allowed to do, for good reason. This opens up a new door of trust and communication in the relationship. It strengthens the bond a couple shares.
For instance, I am a domestic violence survivor. I dated a guy in my past life, and he used to smack me in the face and beat me up. So personally, being punched or slapped in the face is not one of the okay things to do for fear of bringing on a PTSD attack. I shared this with my current partner, and we then discovered that I adore being spanked, like the dirty girl I am. I communicate and explain to my partner the effect of slapping me in the face might have. And I give ideas on others activities they can do, that won’t trigger a PTSD attack. The last thing you want is emotional and unwanted physical damage after sex...
At this point, you and your partner are done talking and have consented and come to an agreement on your list and safe words. So let’s break it down with each subcategory exactly what BDSM is...
✖️Bondage ✖️
As per Wikipedia;
“Bondage, in the BDSM subculture, is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage.”
A lot of people wonder why getting tied up is sexy, but don’t realize it’s mostly about control. I’m letting another person be in control of my sexual pleasure. This is my personal favorite because it forces me to cum- and I use the word ‘force’ very lightly. I’m consenting to the process, but for some reason my body will react negatively when I am about to cum and I instinctively will jerk my knees and close my legs shut as my whole body shudders while I orgasm. To avoid this, my partner will tie my ankles to something (with my consent) and doing so ‘forces’ me to cum while keeping my knees and legs in place. I love it, I get off on it, and it’s fun.
✖️Dominance / Submission ✖️
To be titled the submissive or the dominant is simply put that as a sexual person, you tend to prefer being one one position or the other. Dominant means you are likely going to be in control of the actions done to the other partner. The dominant is the one that does the tying, whereas the submissive is being tied up and getting whipped. A female Dominant is usually referred to as a Domme or Mistress. A male Dominant is usually referred to as a Dom or Master.
Being a Dominant is far more than simple control of the fantasy or bark orders. A good Dominant must also be able to practice self-control and respect their submissive. Remember it can be easy to get lost in the heat of the moment... Dominants should also be responsible and smart enough to stop a scene that moment when the safe word is announced. Remember how important communication is in BDSM? So is listening and being aware of your partner’s safety. At the end of the day the Dominant leads, guides, and most importantly protects the Submissive throughout the entire fantasy, and after.
Submissive is the opposite of Dominant. They allow the control to be taken over by their partner. There are a plethora of behaviors that can be examples of how to be submissive. But the truth of this matter is, there really is no one way to be submissive. Experts suggest instead, looking for ways to show submission to your partner that you’re personally comfortable with.
✖️ Masochist ✖️
Simply put, by definition a masochist is someone who gets off on receiving sexual pain. This is where the whips come into play. As well as the spanking, the slapping...
The third most important suggestion for BDSM is practicing safe actions before doing them to your partner. This part of BDSM is a rough area... Always make sure your hands are properly placed. It is very easy to fuck up someone’s hearing with a smack in the face. As for putting your hands on the throat, a lot of people misplace their hands and end up causing major damage to their partner’s eyesight (believe it or not). That’s why it’s highly suggested to always do your research and practice first!
Remember this is supposed to be a fun exploration on a couple’s sexual fantasy! It in no way should be triggering, or uncomfortable for either of you. So with BDSM, there is a lot of talking beforehand and understanding each other’s boundaries.
Here are some links you can refer to if you ever want to explore the kinky world of BDSM role play:
https://www.thecut.com/amp/2018/05/how-to-role-play-bdsm-for-beginners.html
https://www.elitedaily.com/p/what-is-bdsm-a-sex-expert-reveals-exactly-what-it-means-8068256
https://www.everydayhealth.com/healthy-sex/bdsm/
