emmahircine posts
Posts: 15431
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People are usually shocked that I have a Police record. But ..
People are usually shocked that I have a Police record. But I love their greatest hits!
🎡Would you like to try your luck? January Wheel Spin Edition..
🎡Would you like to try your luck? January Wheel Spin Edition: Fabulous prizes are waiting for you. 1 spin for $10, or get all 4 for only $30. 🥰🎡
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other? “Cool Ranch!”
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other? “Cool Ranch!”
Which U.S. state is known for its exceptionally small soft d..
Which U.S. state is known for its exceptionally small soft drinks? Minnesota.
I didn’t get a hair cut, I got them all cut.
I didn’t get a hair cut, I got them all cut.
What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
Feast upon me
Feast upon me
How do you know when a chicken is evil? It lays deviled eggs..
How do you know when a chicken is evil? It lays deviled eggs.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A bed.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A bed.
I’ve been bored recently, so I decided to take up fencing. T..
I’ve been bored recently, so I decided to take up fencing. The neighbors keep demanding that I put it back.
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out standing in h..
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out standing in his field.
Sore throats are a pain in the neck.
Sore throats are a pain in the neck.
What do you call spiders who just got married? Newly-webs.
What do you call spiders who just got married? Newly-webs.
What sort of elf lives in a can? A sprite
What sort of elf lives in a can? A sprite
What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itentic..
What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle.
How do you make an elf horny? Fairy moans.
How do you make an elf horny? Fairy moans.
RIP boiled water—you will be mist. 😭
RIP boiled water—you will be mist. 😭
Why are spiders so smart? Because they can find everything o..
Why are spiders so smart? Because they can find everything on the web.
I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them..
I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work.
How can you mend a broken pumpkin? By using a pumpkin patch.
How can you mend a broken pumpkin? By using a pumpkin patch.
What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? I..
What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.
What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This ..
What did the accountant say while auditing a document? This is taxing.
What do you call someone who won't stick to a diet? A desser..
What do you call someone who won't stick to a diet? A desserter.
What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamborghini.
What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamborghini.
I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bu..
I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter.
Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter.
Maid in heaven 😍
Maid in heaven 😍
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got..
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack.
