emmahircine posts
Posts: 15431
Files: 16193
Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner? Because he couldn..
Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner? Because he couldn't find a date.
What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time, no se..
What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time, no sea.
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Th..
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Someone sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope th..
Someone sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Why do hamburgers go to the gym? To get better buns.
Why do hamburgers go to the gym? To get better buns.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing..
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Who was Socrates’ worst student? Mediocrities. Who was his b..
Who was Socrates’ worst student? Mediocrities. Who was his busiest student? The one with a lot on his Plato
What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess? We..
What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess? We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves!
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negat..
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands.
Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands.
I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I ta..
I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
What is Forrest Gump's email password? 1Forrest1
What is Forrest Gump's email password? 1Forrest1
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I..
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.
I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe? Narni..
What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe? Narnia business!
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicy..
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
Why couldn’t Mario become a musician? Because he kept hittin..
Why couldn’t Mario become a musician? Because he kept hitting the wrong blocks.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a ca..
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soo..
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a..
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman ask..
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down.
6:30 is the best time on a clock… hands down.
What do you get when you cross Pikachu with porn? Pikascrew..
What do you get when you cross Pikachu with porn? Pikascrew.
An atom loses an electron… it says, “Man, I really gotta kee..
An atom loses an electron… it says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them.”
